I was born in Russia, where I lived for thirteen years before getting adopted along with my sister into an american family. These lyrics were written about our mother, who has struggled with drug addictions that proved to be fatal to her life. Although this is a scoop from my personal life, i know a lot of people would be able to relate to these lyrics.
The year was nineteen and ninety one
A mother gave birth to her only son
Alcoholic and drug addict, she held her kid
Thinking back and feeling sorry for all the things she did
Those nights, when she was trashed beyond belief
Those days, when she couldn't leave
Her life of constant addiction
Listen closely, cause this aint no fiction.
Closely she held her newly born
And you could of almost sworn
That she looked ahead, to a new life
But she didn't change and died by a knife.
Cause as soon as she was out of the hospital door
She left behind everything to which she swore.
To start a new life, away from alcohol and drugs
To replace those idols with something as simple as hugs.
She had the desire, bud didn't have the will
And once again, everything from there went downhill.
Back into the partying scene,
She once again lived as a fiend.
This continued for five more years
And constant unsatisfaction left her in a lot of tears.
She used the source of the problem, as a way to cope
Dope to release her of alcohol, and alcohol against her dope.
Living the life from a drink to a drink, she didn't stop long enough to think
That the same baby boy, in that hospital room
Might be left without a mother very soon.
We all mess up, and we are given chances
To progress forward, to make minor advances
Sometimes its hard, and we all strife
But not to take those chances, can cause you your life.
And if you just don't care, if your heart is to empty and bare
Then may be you should get a pair, and grow some serious hair
Cause really you aint being fair
To those who actually care, bout yours and their welfare.
Stop telling yourself all the fucking lies
Sometimes you gotta step back and realize
That when your buried, its more than you that dies.
So make a right choice, and do it quick
Cause it might have been your last choice as we speak.
Money got scarce, addictions got worse
She constantly needed a new money source
As the desperation grew, her morality decreased
Until it finally just seized to exist.
Taking advantage of the situation
Her friends didn't take a moment of hesitation
Offered her money, for sexual favors
And too stupid to think, she considered them her saviors.
Time passed, and things got harder
The mother fell further and further
Now she was sleeping with dudes she didn't know
An addict turned into a hoe.
Her family tried to help her condition
But the mother didn't have any ambition
She lost the ones that loved her
Until she didn't have anyone anymore.
Now all she had, was her two young babies,
Something else to replace her addiction, may be
But that was not the case
The kids went without food for days
So she can satisfy her ever wanting desire
And she met more men, but all of them ended up being liars.
Her condition worsened, doors started closing in
Life became harder for the mother fiend
Now she was at the point of no return
Far from that mindset of the day her child was born
And although she was torn, she closed the final door.
She met the wrong kind of people
The kind that thrive on purely evil
And they promised the will give her the doze
But first she had to take off all her clothes.
By now it was too late
Because in their minds, the guys have already sealed her fate
Nothing out of ordinary, happened at first
They all proceeded to commit intercourse
When it was all done, the mother asked for her pay
"Bitch what the fuck did you say?"
Then all at once, they started attacking
All you could hear was her screams and bones cracking
But they were at a place where no one lived for a mile
So all her screams of agony were futile.
Then one of the guys, pulled out a knife
He snickered, as he saw fear in her eyes.
As she realized she was going to die
She stopped screaming and started to cry
Her heart started racing, her throat became dry
Then she felt a sharp pain in her stomach, and proceeded to die.
That was the last day of her in this world
But the life has just begun for her son and young baby girl.
They were hundreds of miles away as she took her last breath
As she stared in the eyes of her new savior--death
As i think about that moment, I almost wanna cry
Because those little kids who were left in this world
Were my sister and I.